I Am The Missing Link

Growing up, there was little choice and certainly no discussion as to whether anyone believed in god, they just did. Every school meeting, football, basketball or baseball game was prayed over, and as a teenager my social life was full of church-centered activities. I went to church camp in the Summer, I attended year-round youth group classes, there were Christmas parties and bonfires and puppet ministries to keep me busy and "doing god's will". My first two years in college were spent much the same way, except by then I didn't need anyone to tell me to go to church, I sought it out by myself. My children, however, have a spiritual life that is vastly different than mine was.

My daughter is 5 and cannot possibly have any idea about what she believes yet, so I'm only speaking for my oldest offspring. He is 15 and he's an atheist. He arrived at this conclusion on his own. I did my best to present evidence to him instead of theology either for or against god. I explained that friends and family had one view of how the world works, but there were people all over the world who had different views. I was honest with him about what my thoughts were on the subject but told him that he had to come to his own conclusions. I feel like I gave him answers but did not try to deliberately sway him one way or another.

He was the first one of us to use the word atheist, in fact he used it a full year before I did. I had a bad case of the "I don't believe that anymore, but I still believe whatever." I've found it very difficult and scary to give up all of the dogma that had been pounded into my brain since childhood, at first it felt a little like going outside without any pants on. My son, has never had this problem. He had the luxury of accepting or rejecting religion on its face. My son says that he is an atheist in the same matter-of-fact way he says that he has blue eyes. Even more importantly, he has never worried about spending eternity in hell or lain awake at night worried that the rapture was going to happen while he was asleep, leaving him alone in the world. I'm proud of these things. I'm happy that he has come to his own conclusions and that he is comfortable with the choice that he has made.

I'm the missing link because I'm the one who came through religion but didn't impose it upon my children. As my daughter grows up and is presented with the evidence for god, she may decide to believe. The important thing is that she will be given the choice based on facts, not superstition. Given this, I certainly think the odds are that she won't be a theist, but I'll let you know in ten years.